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Fictional Books

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SELECTIONS FROM THE CARD CATALOGUE OF THE AGINCOURT PUBLIC LIBRARY:

  • ACROTERION, Daphne (PhD), Re-Analysis of the Late Carolingian Iconography in the North Transept of l’Eglise du St Framboise-sur-la-Têtê, at Saint-Étienne-de-Baïgorry, Midi-Pyrénées, France (1957). This obscure work of art history was a refinement of Acroterion’s doctoral dissertation at the Université de Bordeaux. Most copies were withdrawn and destroyed, however, when her admission references to the graduate school were found to have been forged and her admission essay plagiarized from the letters and travel diaries of Mary Todd Lincoln.
  • CALDEIRA, F[rancis] X[avier], Necropolitan Ephemera (1953). A collection of poetry by the translator of V. M. Straka’s novels.
  • CRABTREE, Avery, Tennants in America, a prosopographic appreciation (2000). A very limited edition history of the Tennant family from their ignominious origin on Sark in the Channel Islands to the millennium. Crabtree is a pseudonym. To date, there is no evidence that the book has every circulated, let alone been touched.
  • MILLSTONE JENNINGS, Paula Nancy, Musings (1976). The sole published anthology of Millstone Jennings poetry.
  • RAMSAY, R.H.L.M., It’s Not About Me: an autobiography (2002). The author challenged himself to write an autobiography without using first person singular pronouns (I, me, my, or mine).
  • SCRIBNER, Bartleby d’Ascoyne, Gulliver Jimson: A Catalogue Raisonné (1954). A crepuscular Jimson made the “angry young men” of the Kitchen Sink movement seem wholesome and optimistic.
  • SEALING, Batson D. (PhD), Our Savior Said: an anthology of Jesus’s utterances (1991). A translation from spurious Coptic texts.
  • SOMERSAULT-MALM, Clive, “Six Pronouns in Search of an Antecedent — a comedy in three obscene acts” (1967) [typescript]. The League of Decency shut down the first off-off-Broadway production of this play while it was still in rehearsal in New Jersey. Though the characters are pronouns, their action involves a considerable number of impolite gerunds.
  • STRAKA, V.M., The Ship of Theseus, NY, Winged Shoes Press (1949). Last of the novels by Straka, it is part of a collection of all nineteen books, perhaps the library’s most valuable non-circulating volumes — under lock and key.

FICTIONAL BOOKS

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